Flapmutlap is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent gnu.

Flapmutlap created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapmutlap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapmutlap, it will jump up and down on your head.

Flapmutlap's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Flapmutlap's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed lots of peanuts to tortoises while wearing pink corsets.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.