Parkbogtail is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, two-faced aardvark.

Parkbogtail created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Parkbogtail, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Parkbogtail, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Parkbogtail's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Parkbogtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. You must love Parkbogtail.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not listen to music.