Tenjarnyartarnbasswipjab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, charitable cat.

Tenjarnyartarnbasswipjab created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenjarnyartarnbasswipjab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tenjarnyartarnbasswipjab, she will curse you with boils.

Tenjarnyartarnbasswipjab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tenjarnyartarnbasswipjab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Tenjarnyartarnbasswipjab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing gray rings.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.