Vagshavbit is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, benevolent wren.

Vagshavbit created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagshavbit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vagshavbit, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vagshavbit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vagshavbit's Holy Commandments

1. Vagshavbit must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Run away from pink nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never hurt turtles.