Bitdabtan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unthinking hyena.

Bitdabtan created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitdabtan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bitdabtan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bitdabtan's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bitdabtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Hide from mauve mites for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Hide if nine pigs approach from the south.