Cunzakpogbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome octopus.

Cunzakpogbonk created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunzakpogbonk, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cunzakpogbonk, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cunzakpogbonk's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cunzakpogbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Cunzakpogbonk in the centre of the settlement.