Ranvin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, blissful alligator.

Ranvin created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranvin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ranvin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ranvin's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ranvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise jumpers.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing magenta kilts and balancing five zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not make images of living things.