Vidkenfat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, fussy crow.

Vidkenfat created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vidkenfat, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vidkenfat, it will not care.

Vidkenfat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vidkenfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

4. Erect five tin sculptures of Vidkenfat on top of important buildings.

5. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the south.