Jopgodfumfot is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, astonishing shrew.

Jopgodfumfot created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopgodfumfot, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jopgodfumfot, she will be mildly annoyed.

Jopgodfumfot's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Jopgodfumfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to bats while wearing red trousers.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.