Midxemven is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent faun.

Midxemven created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midxemven, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Midxemven, she will turn you into a rock.

Midxemven's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Midxemven's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Worship no other gods but Midxemven.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Midxemven on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat bark.