Kimgebril Getyarpmad Teenbiftim is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, annoying hippopotamus.

Kimgebril Getyarpmad Teenbiftim created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimgebril Getyarpmad Teenbiftim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kimgebril Getyarpmad Teenbiftim, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kimgebril Getyarpmad Teenbiftim's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kimgebril Getyarpmad Teenbiftim's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kimgebril Getyarpmad Teenbiftim.

2. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Never feed pineapples to sheep while wearing scarves.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.