Dibgupstan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, slow troll.

Dibgupstan created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibgupstan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dibgupstan, he will turn you into a snail.

Dibgupstan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Dibgupstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat shrews with great respect.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not cook food in pots.