Yogteensig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-powerful elephant.

Yogteensig created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogteensig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yogteensig, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yogteensig's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yogteensig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always help tapirs.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always wear blue.