Bapbepnig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, dishonourable otter.

Bapbepnig created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapbepnig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bapbepnig, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bapbepnig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bapbepnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.