Pigkimkab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental alligator.

Pigkimkab created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigkimkab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pigkimkab, she will try to impress you with trees.

Pigkimkab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Pigkimkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Run away from blue otters, for they are unholy.

5. Hide if eight frogs approach from the south.