Tapcabnullnak is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless tortoise.

Tapcabnullnak created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcabnullnak, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tapcabnullnak, it will turn you into a tree.

Tapcabnullnak's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tapcabnullnak's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must love Tapcabnullnak.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Do not sit in public.