Kadbamyak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient bear.

Kadbamyak created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Kadbamyak, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kadbamyak, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kadbamyak's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kadbamyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue stockings.

2. Run away if four dogs approach from the south.

3. Never think ill of sick ants.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near otters while wearing violet shirts and balancing five titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.