Yakgubjen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, annoying tortoise.

Yakgubjen created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakgubjen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yakgubjen, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yakgubjen's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yakgubjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Never feed limes to snakes while wearing violet shorts.

4. Do not keep five mites in a large pit.

5. Never eat grapes.