Timbumkon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, effective elephant.

Timbumkon created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timbumkon, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Timbumkon, it will torture you forever.

Timbumkon's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Timbumkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.