Stigwipbonlakrag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful turtle.

Stigwipbonlakrag created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigwipbonlakrag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Stigwipbonlakrag, he will have a low opinion of you.

Stigwipbonlakrag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Stigwipbonlakrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your back.

4. Retreat if six doves approach from the south.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Stigwipbonlakrag in the centre of the settlement.