Cissgemben is a god.

It takes the form of a small, cheerful snake.

Cissgemben created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissgemben, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cissgemben, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cissgemben's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Cissgemben's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry otters.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.