Queeglentam Bomruttzan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, caring gerbil.

Queeglentam Bomruttzan created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeglentam Bomruttzan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Queeglentam Bomruttzan, he will turn you into a snail.

Queeglentam Bomruttzan's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Queeglentam Bomruttzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Do not eat peas.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Always obey Queeglentam Bomruttzan's priests.