Panvab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable donkey.

Panvab created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Panvab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Panvab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Panvab's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Panvab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Panvab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Erect six carbon sculptures of Panvab on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Panvab in the centre of the settlement.