Tontafnart is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omnipotent newt.

Tontafnart created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tontafnart, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tontafnart, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tontafnart's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tontafnart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about dark energy near porpoises while wearing violet corsets and balancing eight carbon spheres on your feet.

5. Never hurt nematodes.