Yogponbat Sugkiptaf is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, loving aardvark.

Yogponbat Sugkiptaf created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogponbat Sugkiptaf, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yogponbat Sugkiptaf, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yogponbat Sugkiptaf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Yogponbat Sugkiptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Yogponbat Sugkiptaf in the centre of the settlement.

2. Erect four gold sculptures of Yogponbat Sugkiptaf on top of important buildings.

3. Always help birds in need.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Yogponbat Sugkiptaf.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Yogponbat Sugkiptaf in the centre of the settlement.