Quimstigwip is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witless elephant.

Quimstigwip created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimstigwip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimstigwip, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quimstigwip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Quimstigwip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five hamsters approach from the north.

2. Never hurt porpoises.

3. Run away from magenta gulls, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about moths.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.