Titfontarg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awesome wombat.

Titfontarg created the Sombrero Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titfontarg, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Titfontarg, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Titfontarg's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Titfontarg's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to sharks while wearing green shirts.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.