Vabtipton is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, annoying shark.

Vabtipton created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabtipton, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vabtipton, he will be mildly annoyed.

Vabtipton's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Vabtipton's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight doves approach from the west.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Never wear cyan jumpers.

5. Always take life seriously.