Kenarfwig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unsympathetic dingo.

Kenarfwig created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenarfwig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kenarfwig, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kenarfwig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kenarfwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kenarfwig.