Fobfudyim is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic duck.

Fobfudyim created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobfudyim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fobfudyim, it will send you a sign.

Fobfudyim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fobfudyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never feed cherries to doves while wearing hats.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never wear pink jumpers.

5. Always help swans.