Jarnjipnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-assured walrus.

Jarnjipnurt created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnjipnurt, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnjipnurt, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jarnjipnurt's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Jarnjipnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. You must pray to Jarnjipnurt seven times a day.

4. Do not eat wheat.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.