Sitgunbed is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain tapir.

Sitgunbed created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitgunbed, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sitgunbed, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Sitgunbed's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Sitgunbed's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about planets.