Larggarstig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, two-faced badger.

Larggarstig created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Larggarstig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larggarstig, it will turn you into a dog.

Larggarstig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Larggarstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Larggarstig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never play with disobedient children.