Zigbast is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, slow parrot.

Zigbast created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Zigbast, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zigbast, it will turn you into a goat.

Zigbast's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Zigbast's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zigbast.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Zigbast must be the most important thing in your life.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. You must pray to Zigbast nine times a day.