Absandfun is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest cat.

Absandfun created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Absandfun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Absandfun, he will boil you in a big pot.

Absandfun's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Absandfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near great tits while wearing orange shorts and balancing three copper spheres on your face.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect four titanium sculptures of Absandfun on top of important buildings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.