Litzakhak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, slow lizard.

Litzakhak created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litzakhak, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Litzakhak, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Litzakhak's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Litzakhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Litzakhak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not hurt whales.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.