Boncatfarnsug Hannan is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, annoying horse.

Boncatfarnsug Hannan created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Boncatfarnsug Hannan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Boncatfarnsug Hannan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Boncatfarnsug Hannan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Boncatfarnsug Hannan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Boncatfarnsug Hannan.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.