Arfhudhanham Nartguttadnar is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciful badger.

Arfhudhanham Nartguttadnar created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfhudhanham Nartguttadnar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arfhudhanham Nartguttadnar, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Arfhudhanham Nartguttadnar's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Arfhudhanham Nartguttadnar's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Do not keep nine bats in a large pit.