Budflanced Fubgessdav Zagmumjan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, astonishing coyote.

Budflanced Fubgessdav Zagmumjan created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Budflanced Fubgessdav Zagmumjan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Budflanced Fubgessdav Zagmumjan, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Budflanced Fubgessdav Zagmumjan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Budflanced Fubgessdav Zagmumjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near manatees while wearing violet hats and balancing six zinc spheres on your back.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Erect five copper sculptures of Budflanced Fubgessdav Zagmumjan on top of important buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never write about cell theory.