Bampoplitort is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered shark.

Bampoplitort created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bampoplitort, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bampoplitort, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bampoplitort's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bampoplitort's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bampoplitort.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.