Farnarlhog Wappit is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring dingo.

Farnarlhog Wappit created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnarlhog Wappit, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Farnarlhog Wappit, she will turn you into a mouse.

Farnarlhog Wappit's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Farnarlhog Wappit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of gooseberries to moths while wearing black scarves.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.