Raptifrul is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous naga.

Raptifrul created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raptifrul, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Raptifrul, she will turn you into a rat.

Raptifrul's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Raptifrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt goats.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Raptifrul must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always obey Raptifrul's priests.