Yakmanpasbimjopnibtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy dove.

Yakmanpasbimjopnibtonk created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakmanpasbimjopnibtonk, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yakmanpasbimjopnibtonk, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yakmanpasbimjopnibtonk's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yakmanpasbimjopnibtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Never mention otters.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. You must pray to Yakmanpasbimjopnibtonk four times a day.