Kabpinbell is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid skunk.

Kabpinbell created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Kabpinbell, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kabpinbell, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kabpinbell's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Kabpinbell's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Never hurt voles.

3. Kabpinbell loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never skip in the presence of seals.

5. Put Kabpinbell first in all things.