Kinkemdap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, fussy jellyfish.

Kinkemdap created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kinkemdap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kinkemdap, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kinkemdap's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kinkemdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Feed all hungry whales.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.