Flapfedgat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ruthless goblin.

Flapfedgat created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapfedgat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapfedgat, he will turn you into a tree.

Flapfedgat's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Flapfedgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

5. You must never eat peas.