Kemnaktag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical clam.

Kemnaktag created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemnaktag, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kemnaktag, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Kemnaktag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Kemnaktag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat sharks with great respect.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Put Kemnaktag first in all things.

4. Never feed wheat to sheep while wearing ear rings.

5. Worship no other gods but Kemnaktag.