Lamflowleg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, loving duck.

Lamflowleg created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamflowleg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lamflowleg, it will turn you into a rock.

Lamflowleg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lamflowleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Lamflowleg loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not hurt dolphins.