Citteenlam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet swan.

Citteenlam created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Citteenlam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Citteenlam, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Citteenlam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Citteenlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away if eight swans approach from the north.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.