Hamhotyik is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, fussy dolphin.

Hamhotyik created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamhotyik, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamhotyik, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hamhotyik's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hamhotyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Hamhotyik on top of all buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hamhotyik.